glossary

Anal: Anal, aka anal sex, generally involves penetrating the anus with fingers, toys, or body parts.

BDSM: BDSM is an acronym that stands for “Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadochism and Masochism.” BDSM is a lifestlye and/or kink that can involve sexual acts and non-sexual acts. BDSM relationships have an element of power/control where one party consents to the other exerting control in certain ways. Not all BDSM relationships involve sex and pain.

 Choking: Choking, aka erotic asphyxiation, is when one partner applies pressure to the neck of another partner during sex. This can be done during masturbation as well (autoerotic asphyxiation). It is important to note that safer choking during sex does not involve compressing a person’s windpipe. 

Clitoris: The clitoris is the powerhouse of the vagina 😉 This body part is mostly internal and engorges during sexual arousal. The visual parts of the clitoris are the clitoral hood and the glans clitoris. Internally, the clitoras is made of the clitoral shaft, the crura and the vestibular bulbs. The clitoras is homologous to the penis which means it is made of the same tissues and similar in structure. 

Consent: Consent is the act of saying yes to specific things, sexual or otherwise. Consent must be: freely given, reversible, informed, embodied, and specific. Consenting to one thing does not mean consent to all things and it is not permanent. 

Consensual Non-Consent: Consensual Non-consent (CNC) is when one partner consents to specific sexual acts/situations before a scene where they plan to say no as part of their sexual experience.

Dominant / Domination: A dominant is a person who is in a position of power in a BDSM and/or D/s relationship. Domination is the act of controlling; that is, exerting control over another consenting adult based on agreed upon guidelines, rules, contracts, etc.

Edging: Similar to orgasm denial, edging is when a person gets close to orgasm and then stops before completion, typically working up to a larger, more ecstatic release when orgasm happens. Edging is generally less involved in power dynamics and can be done during masturbation.

Erotica: Erotica is erotic written or audio material.

Exhibitionism: Exhibitionism is a kink or fetish that involves having sex where other people can see. This varies from having sex somewhere you may be caught to public sex to making pornographic videos for partners.

Group Sex: Group sex is any type of sex that involves more than two people.

Haiku: A three line poem; line one has 5 syllables, line two has 7 syllables, line three has 5 syllables. For example:
Lioness Vibe
A beautiful orgasm.
Masturbate smarter.

Hickeys: Hickeys are marks left on the body by sucking. 

HTP (7 Minutes in Heaven): You and your partner will go into a closet for 7 minutes. Keep the lights off. What happens in the closet, stays in the closet. 

HTP (Suck & Blow): First, one partner sucks a credit or business card against their lips. Next, the second partner will suck the card to their mouth while the other partner blows it gently. 

Kinks: A kink is anything that falls outside of “conventional” sexual behavior. 

Mommy / Daddy: Mommy / Daddy is a type of dominant persona a person can take on in a sexual power dynamic. Submissives may assume the role of a brat or child (i.e. good girl) and be expected to obey their dominant as such.

Motorboat: To motorboat someone means to vigorously shake one’s face in someone’s breasts.

Oral: Oral, aka oral sex, is the act of sexually pleasing someone with your mouth. This can include cunnilingus, anal rimming, and felatio in all their various forms.

Orgasm Denial: Orgasm denial is often a component of sexual power play. During denial, one partner will allow the other to get extremely close to orgasm before stopping the orgasm with (mental, verbal, and/or physical) force.

Pain: During sex, pain can be incorporated as a way to enhance pleasure. This can be experienced across many sexual experiences in a variety of ways (such as spanking, restraint, forced/denied orgasms, nipple clamps, etc.).

Penis Slang: Dick, Richard, Member, Cock, Peen, Glizzy, Prick, Phallus, Wang, Tool, Weenie, Weener, Peter, Johnson, Schlong, Bellend, Mushroom Tip, Joystick, Winkie, Anaconda, Trouser Snake, Chode, Meat Sword, One-eyed Monster, Fuck Stick, Skin Flute…yes, we had fun thinking of all these. 

Pi: Pi is the ratio of the circumferene of any circle to the diameter of that circle. (Did you really think a bunch of engineers and sex nerds weren’t going to throw in some math?)

Porn: Porn is erotic visual material. 

Quickie: A quickie is quick sex, often taking place somewhere hidden and involving very little foreplay. 

Responsive Arousal: Responsive arousal, aka responsive desire, is the experience of feeling aroused physically before mentally. Someone with this type of desire might need/prefer physical stimulation to get in the mood.

Rim Job: Rim job is another word for analingus and involves one partner using their tongue to sexually stimulate their partner’s anus. 

Roleplay: Roleplay is a type of kink or fetish in which partners dress up and pretend to be in different scenarios.

Sex Club: A sex club is an adult club intended for people to watch and/or partake in public sex. 

Sexual Awakening: A person’s sexual awakening is the moment they feel sexual arousal for the first time. 

Sexuality: A person’s sexuality is how they define their sexual attraction to others. For example, someone who does not feel sexual attraction towards others might identify as “asexual.” 

Shibari: Shibari, aka rope play, involves one partner tying another one up. This can be done simply or in intricate knots and is often considered an art form as well as a kink. 

Spanking: Spanking is the act of hitting someone’s bottom during sex. Also known as impact play, it can involve hitting with a hand, paddle, crop, or other object. Spanking is sometimes used during sexual power dynamics.

Spontaneous Arousal: Spontaneous arousal, aka spontaneous desire, is the experience of feeling aroused mentally before physically. Someone with this type of desire might think of sex and become aroused. 

Submissive / Submission: A submissive is a person who has relinquished power in a BDSM and/or D/s relationship. Submission is the act of being controlled; that is, allowing another consenting adult control over autonomy based on agreed upon guidelines, rules, contracts, etc.

Vagina Slang: Pussy, Cunt, Pink Taco, Snatch, Coochie Meow Meow, Coochie, Fronthole, Cooter, Poon, Poonani, Hoohah, Twat, FaFa, TuTu, Vagay, Fuck Box, Cum Dumpster, Fur Burger, Muff, Nether Regions, Down There, Cookie, Front Butt…yep, this one was fun for us too. 

Vanilla Sex: Vanilla sex is a term used to describe sex that does not involve kinks, fetishes, or taboos. In the mainstream media, it is often used to define heterosexual sex in the missionary position. 

Voyeurism: Voyeurism is a kink or fetish that involves watching someone else have sex, masturbate, etc. This varies from watching someone directly/indirectly, going to a sex club to watch others have sex, or being aroused at the idea of being caught watching other people have sex, be intimate, undress, etc.